Good news for Tsh and Kyle!!!

Here's an interesting article on short-term missions and whether or not the folks who go on some of them are properly motivated.

While of course, not all groups have the same priorities, I was particularly fascinated with the idea expressed by the head of the missions organization quoted in the article that the primary purpose of the trips should be for the "spiritural growth" of the missionaries with a seemingly dismissive comment about making any impact on the indigenous people -- particularly "That's how Jesus intended it to be...".

"Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded of you... and don't forget to take a few days and stay in a nice hotel and get some sightseeing in...."

Eastbound and Down, Loaded Up and Truckin'

The Josh-mobile is full on in high gear. That's right. I'm now crawling forward, although Dad says I still do it weird. It seems you're not supposed to keep one leg bent and flat on the floor while you push off on the other one like you're trying to "stand up" (whatever that means). But hey, it gets me around. See, I'm so fast, even the camera can't catch me baby!!!

Joshnonia has greatly expanded her territory... er... "area of influence"... with this newfound mobility. Rugland was easily taken in a matter of minutes. Once my initial hesitation due to the coldness of the concrete landscape was overcome, Downstairsia surrendered quicker than a Frenchman surrenders to the darkness when a lightbulb burns out. We have reports that the key strategic passage of Stairsida may be blocked off soon, but have no fear--- today the house -- tomorrow the world.

Nothing will stand in my way. Not even Dad..... MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

By the way, did you know:

• "Smokey and the Bandit" (the title of this post is from the main song from that movie, for those of you who are confused) was the second-highest grossing movie in 1977. The highest grossing movie..... a relatively unknown film called "Star Wars". When Mom figures out which of those is more disturbing to her, I'll let you know.
  
• For those of you unlucky enough to have never seen that classic movie (classic means the same thing as "good 'ol boy", right?), the Bandit is hired to make a run from Georgia to Texas to buy and transport a truck full of Coors beer, which, at the time, could not be legally transported across state lines because Coors only had regional distributorships. However, the Bandit and Snow Man (the truck driver) pick up the beer in Texarkana, Texas, which is in Bowie County. Bowie County is, to this very day, one of 46 completely dry counties in Texas, meaning you can't buy any beer there, Coors or otherwise. Oops.
• You can use the letters in "Joshua Henry" to spell "Yeah Josh Run". Darn right Josh run. Josh run fast.
  

Garbage Pail Kid

I'm not sure when this happened, but Mom apparently trapped a little boy (about my size, but a little skinnier) in the trash can. When I spotted him today, I tried to play with him. He gave me five, smiled, and mostly copied whatever I was doing. Imitation is the best form of flattery, right? Mom didn't mind me having my new friend over until I tried to lick him. Mom put a stop to that and started mumbling something about needing to clean the trash can. Or maybe it was something about not releasing General Zod from the Phantom Zone. One of those two.

Happy Birthday Aunt Steph!

Today is my Aunt Steph's birthday. I asked Mom how old Aunt Steph was and she started listing all the body parts I'd need to count that high - all my fingers, all my toes, both my ears, eyes, arms, legs....oh, geez. I stopped listening. I mean, what happens when I don't have any body parts left? Won't be long, right Aunt Steph? I love you!

Aunt Steph doesn't live nearby, but if I could, I'd give her a really big hug and slobbery kiss and then we'd play. Oh, and we'd send Mom to the kitchen to make birthday cake. Yum. Could be great. Maybe Aunt Steph needs to plan a trip to Joshnonia for her birthday next year.

Anyway, its nap time again. Gotta run. Not literally, of course. But I can crawl forward now! Full steam ahead!

Happy Birthday Aunt Steph!

Josh and Mom's Excellent Adventure

So Mom had a coupon for a free photo sitting, and she and I, along with Grandma and Grandpa, went on Friday to get some photos snapped.

While there were some good ones, I think we've realized that, as a general matter, I'm much more photogenic during spontaneous shots.

Because all the ladies think I'm pretty cute now, I thought it was only fair that they get a preview of what my class pictures will look like in 2013. Quick, to the Wayback Machine Sherman!!!

The line for wedgies will be starting just to my right.....

P.S. We'll have to talk about Mom's advanced degree in couponology some day. On Saturday, she bought $91 of groceries for around $29 bucks after double coupons. We're making money here people!!!

I Love My Mom

I loved my Mom when I was still inside.

I loved my Mom when I was only a few minutes old.

I loved her even more when I was only weeks old.

As my heart grows bigger, I love her some more.

I love her the most ever today. And things are looking pretty good for tomorrow.

Oh yeah... she loves me too!

Happy Mother's Day Mom ( and Grandma, too)!!!

Eight Things on My Eight Month Birthday

1. I love my dog Shadow more than she loves me. Except when I have food on my face and I'm at "lick-level".
   
2. I know that you should change tofu water once daily... now. Mom discovered this today and shared it with me. Why is this of concern? Because I've been eating tofu for about two weeks now. Funk-eeeee! That can't be good for anyone.
   
3. My middle name is the same as my Dad's and means "Ruler of the Home". I have succeeded in that. Boo-yah!!
   
4. I will be eligible to run for president in the year 2040 -- which happens to be an election year. Once elected, I will make "Meet Me Half Way" our new national anthem.
5. If I ever start my own club, we will totally have a secret handshake.
6. If anyone ever throws a green-bean grenade at you, fall on it and cover it with your face. It will save civilization as we know it. You're welcome.
7. I have no moles, birthmarks, or other identifying marks on my body. Except for the Mom tattoo on my butt. No wait... that's dried poop. Nope, no marks. I better get working on some scars to avoid the "pretty-boy" tag.
8. I am 242 days old. That means Mom and Dad love me 241 times more than they did when I was born. And we have certainly exceeded the 1,000 diaper mark, which somehow only equates to 32 Pampers Points.
   

This Must've Been How Elvis Died....

So Mom and Dad have been putting me on this big bowl-looking thing when I wake up or they change my diaper. They say that I'll need to figure out how to use it eventually, so they might as well start now, although there's no pressure (I'm sure there's a pun there somewhere, but I'm not really into bathroom humor). Apparently, not everyone wears diapers. I know! Weird, huh? It turns out that only really young people, like me, and really old people wear them. Most other folks don't. They actually sit on this bowl-thingy, and do their business there. Mom and Dad were actually surprised that I seemed to get it. Between you and me, I think its all coincidental since I never know when this thing is going to go off.

It's not too bad. Dad calls it "the office". Not sure what that's about, but it is a good place to do a little reading.

So the other night, Dad took me to "the office" and started preparing my bath while I was determining whether or not I had "anything on the agenda". It seemed like we should have been focused on doing one of those things at a time, but hey - what do I know? I'm a freaking baby! I was looking around, playing with the roll of paper they have next to the bowl -- must be there in case you have to take notes or something -- and next thing I know --- BOOM -- Josh fall down --- Josh fall down and go BOOM and CRY. To prove that Dad really must've taken his stupid pills, he says loudly, "Josh!! Are you ok???" Am I ok? OK?? My first major injury is falling off the toilet onto my head and that monkey asks me if I'm OK? And did he think that falling two feet onto my head would all the sudden make me learn how to speak??? Come on Dad, get in the game!

So after about 15 minutes or so of crying and some good 'ol Mom TLC, I was ok. I laughed and played with Dad some before I went to bed so he wouldn't feel too bad. I didn't really even get a bad bruise, which amazed us all. 'Cause brother -- ain't nothing hurts worse than falling off the head onto your.... head. (OK -- so I couldn't resist.)

Important lessons to take away:

1. Mom, who was trying to take a little nap (for all you Moms -- insert groan here -- I know, Mom gets a few minutes to herself, and Dad breaks the kid), had a sense that I would start crying shortly. Mom also knew a few months ago when I almost hit my head (no toilet involved) and caught me in mid-air. Lesson? Moms have superpowers.
   
2. Mom's response to this feeling was, "Eh... he's with his Dad, what could go wrong?" Lesson? Moms should trust their superpowers.
   
3. Although I'm mostly in the 50% percentile on weight, length, etc., my head has consistently tracked the 90% percentile. Yep. Walking Blow-Pop -- that's me. The hat I have on here is actually, ahem, toddler size - one to four. Yes, years. Lesson? Though I think I look more like Mom, God gave me Dad's freakishly large head for situations just like this. By the way, Dad is currently preparing his deceptive marketing lawsuit against baseball cap manufacturers. I think his exact quote was, "One size fits all, my a**!!!"
   
4. Dad was really worried about me and felt guilty that he put me in a position where I could get hurt. But when I recovered and smiled and giggled with him later, he felt a lot better. Lesson? God gives us no greater gift than the ability to forgive and love.
   

I will try to keep that last one in mind when Mom and Dad insist on sharing this story with my first girlfriend.