Josh Likes Worms

Mom here. I've come to the conclusion that Josh is an early bird. His genetic code obviously mutated at some point during gestation because his Dad and I are charter members of the pro-sleep platform. No matter what we do he starts his day between 5:30 and 6am. Yes, he has slept until 7 or 8 or even 8:30am a handful of times during the course of his short life, but the vast majority of the time he is up even before the sun. We tried covering his crib with a tent (blankets and clamps, some assembly required) but it didn't help. We made his room extra dark with black fabric over the window and no dice. Last night, he went to bed 2 hours late (not planned, but a lengthy nap just before dinner time was not to be interrupted after the day we had) and he woke up at 5:30 this morning. So, this is Josh and we love him. Hopefully the time change this weekend will slip him up and he'll start sleeping in until 7am. Oh, when did 7am ever sounds so wonderful? I can't wait until our little early bird is a teenager.


There's Something About Joshy

Yesterday I caught up on my eating by consuming large quantities of pears, green beans, butternut squash, avocado, rice cereal, bananas, a teething cookie, and milk. Today.... well let's just say what goes in has to come out. Mom was busy.

So Dad had a bit of a rough day at work. He said he was putting out fires all day... which is weird because it was raining all day... and I don't think he's a fireman. He got home late and missed my bath because he spent thirty minutes getting the bat out of his office. Baseball bat? No. Wiffle ball bat? No. Blood Alcohol Test? No. Big A** Tent? OK, I'll stop now.

An actual, flying, live bat. Which, oddly enough, appears to be a fairly regular occurrence at the Public Utility Commission of Texas. Since Dad has been back since October, this is the second one that has gotten into the building and nearly flown into his face. Dad is still waiting for a wall to be built to convert his double-wide cubicle into an actual office, so the little sucker (get it.. bat...vampire...suck...HA!) landed on the window sill, but then fell/crawled down between the wall and the cube furniture. So they took a break to see if it would come back out on its own, and right before Dad left, he peeked into the gap and ---- bat staring at him about three inches from his face. The bat was corralled into a box. Not sure what happens next, but I'd urge you to not eat in the William B. Travis building cafeteria tomorrow.

More bats:
  1. The Austin Ice Bats
  2. Bat Fest 2006
  3. Bat Masterson
  4. Great Deals on Bats
  5. The Adventures of Batboy
  6. Great Deals on Big A** Tents
  7. Bat Mitzvah
  8. Brazilian Funk Rock Band Bat Makumba
  9. Casey at the Bat
  10. Gene Hackman and Danny Glover in Bat*21
  11. The US Army's plan to use Bat Bombs in WWII


Begun the Clone War has.....

Christians are supposed to approach their brothers and sisters when they are concerned about them and to help them make wise life choices based on sound biblical principles. So it was with the best of intentions when an important issue was brought to the attention of the New Parents Sunday School class. The concern was that Mom and Dad were actively shopping "The Baby Boy You've Always Wanted" -- Josh!!!!!

Well it turned out that instead, my master plan to create an army of clone Joshes has been discovered. Blast!! Er... did I say army? I mean... my plan to offer a little bit of Josh to everyone who isn't lucky enough to have Josh... yeah... that's it... forget that army thing.....

The Premiere Edition Josh comes with the following features:
  • lifelike blue eyes that are filled with trust and innocence -- And our patent pending creepyness.
  • soft blonde wisps just begging to be kissed -- That's right -- KISS 'EM!!!!
  • a droll expression -- Or was that troll? Pretty sure it's not droll.
  • jointed to snuggle and "mother-gaze" the way only an infant can -- As long as that infant is made of vinyl.
  • perfect for hugging and holding. Once you hold him in your embrace, you can't let go -- You'll try, but YOU WILL FAIL MISERABLY AT LETTING GO -- mostly because vinyl is sticky. Especially when it's hot. You might be able to let go, but there will be that SHHHLUURRRRP sound as the vinyl peels away from your sweaty arm;
  • individually numbered -- by the Department of Redundancy Department;
  • a strictly limited edition that will disappear as quickly as your own baby became a toddler -- Mostly because you didn't pay attention to your own baby, and instead were focused on a freaky, creepy piece of vinyl.
And, in a much better deal than Mom and Dad got, if you are not delighted with your Josh, he'll gladly be bought back for his purchase price within the first 100 days-- no conditions, no exceptions.

Your vote on placement on the creepy scale? On a scale of one to ten -- mine is a 15. Shudder.


3 minute update

1. Really, really, really bad reflux in February. I pretty much screamed my head off during the first half of the Super Bowl over at the Gowin's house. (By the way, if you haven't turned your dining room into a home theater with a HDTV projector, I highly recommend that you do so. Who needs a dining room anyway? Sorry Sara.) But the good news is that Dad didn't really miss anything while he was taking care of me, since the game was as stinky as a Josh diaper in the morning. And once I settled down (thanks to the Gowin's vacuum cleaner), Mom showed up and helped me go to sleep, and the onesie's mojo was allowed to work unimpeded. Note to Uncle Jeff -- I will be size 12 to 18 months during next year's football season. Get working on a replacement -- you da man.

Our friend Stacy went to the victory parade in Pittsburgh. Unless you are Super Bowl MVP, wearing a tacky, yellow, foam cowboy hat will result in you being immediately ostracized from society. Luckily, Mr. Ward is a Super Bowl MVP.

2. So I was generally pretty unhappy most of the second half of February and the first part of March. I started waking up every few hours at night again. I cried alot. I did eat solid food pretty well, and haven't been allergic to anything yet. I've had rice, green beans, peas (I'm still working on the Exorcist head spin thing), bananas, apples, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, avacado, pears, plums, and raspberries. I'd have to say that pears and avacado are my favorites at this point.

Anyway, so mom took me back to the doctor, and we found out I hadn't really gained any weight for a month. So Mom, Dad, and I went to get me an upper GI test. Now, my test, I mean being strapped to a board (Dad was lucky enough to get to do that part), barium squirted down my throat (Mom got to hold my hands away from my face), and then x-rayed. Oh, I forgot to mention that the board rotated so they could take different angles -- yep, little piggy on a spit - that's me. And the results were ....... nothing abnormal. Which I guess was good, but I loved pooping snow white barium for three days. Nothing like mixing it up.

3. So while we were waiting a couple of weeks to see a GI doctor, I decided to pretty much stop eating altogether, which caused Mom to get a plugged duct and a breast infection. Which is just as painful as it sounds.

4. We saw the GI doctor, and she gave me some new medicine -- which seems to have helped, except for the fact that it tastes horrible. We'll have to try and take a picture of the grimace I make when I take it. Yech.
5. Grandma Malone visted. We had a good time. We played, she helped mom out. It was nice. I was a mess, but it was still fun.

6. The GI doctor ordered up an ultrasound to make sure I don't have something in addition to the reflux, like kidney stones. Good news. I'm not pregnant.

7. Shadow and I played. She still pretty much ignores me, but gives me a good licking every once and a while. Pet hand, chew Shadow.... no wait, pet Shadow, chew hand. Yeah. That works better.

8. Grammie and Grandpap Lloyd visited. So did Uncle Jeff. So did Aunt Belinda. So did cousin Tommy. Whew! That was a lot. If you like climbing, and don't have an Uncle Jeff, I highly recommend that you get one. Three out of four grandkids and grandpets agree.

9. Dad and I watched the LSU-Texas basketball game. Since Dad was torn because he went to both schools, I agreed to represent Texas. Apparently the Texas onesie does not have the same mojo as the Steelers onesie. Geaux Tigers!!

10. Today I went in the school nursery today for the first time. It was a success, since I didn't melt down and made it through the whole service. I actually kinda wanted to stay and keep playing, but it was nap time, so Mom put me in the sling and I napped during Sunday School. I was especially brave, since Dad put me in my LSU jersey and plopped me down in a room full of UT fans. Hello Daniel, would you mind stepping through this door -- what's that? The growling sound? -- Oh that's nothing, don't worry about it.
So thats what's been going on. I'm eating alot better these days -- tons of solid food, and a little bit of breastfeeding here and there. Oh. I'm also moving into my own room and learning how to go to sleep on my own. It's tough , because I'm used to having Mom and Dad help me and be in the same room with me. But I'll get the hang of it.


Flickr Off!

Mom says Flickr loads pictures one at a time, rather than dozens at a time like Yahoo Pictures, so Flickr is outta here. So, if you want to see the latest pictures of me, then you'll have to follow the "Josh Pics" link to the right of your screen. Or is that left? No, right. I'm pretty sure its right. Wait, let me do the finger and thumb thing. Yes, right. So much to remember. To my left is a preview.... No hesitation there. Pretty impressive, huh?


Update soon

It's been a crazy month and a half or so. And by crazy, I mean crappy. I've been unable to update, because I've been too busy not eating and not sleeping. Plus, we had about a week stretch here that we were a locked down level 4 hot zone, so I stayed off the computer to keep from spreading viruses -- what's that? It doesn't work that way? Weird. Anyway, I'll update soon.

Watch out when Kyle says it's raining cats and dogs, 'cause he means literally - IT's RAINING ACTUAL CATS AND DOGS!!!

Jon Hurley -- a man who's got alot of balls. Ball bearings that is......

Faster Hurley, faster!!!! I'm up for it!!!

How many Aggies does it take to sort a bunch of ball bearings? Apparently four.