My Eyes May Be Blue, But They Are Not Sad!

No, quite the contrary. My eyes are very happy and healthy. At least, that's what the optometrist said. This morning I went for my first FREE eye exam. Yep, free! InfantSEE is a program that provides free eye exams for babies 6-12 months. The doctor shined a bunch of different lights in my eyes and waved some silly puppets around while I sat in Mom's lap. He said that my eyes look good on the inside, that my peripheral vision is excellent, and that I'm a little farsighted, which is actually normal for someone of my vintage. I'll have my next exam when I am 3.

In other news, I'm a traveling man. See that speck of carpet in the lower corner of the picture? That's the carpet that I play on downstairs. Wait, correction, playED on. Now, the whole house shall be mine! Only problem with traveling so far is that I'm stuck in reverse. I'm still working some kinks out in this crawling thing. Please don't make fun of the beeping when I go in reverse - its for safety's sake. Until all gears are engaged - BEEP - I mean, bye!

What's Happening Hot Stuff?

Well, to answer your question...a lot! Joshnonia has successfully annihilated its enemies and inventoried the plunder.

I surprised Mom last week by going from sitting to all fours to circling around on my belly. She's not gunna know what hit her where I finally get my thunder thighs to coordinate with my arms.

Last week, after I slept through storytime - as in drove to storytime and slept in the car until it was over, thereby wasting what was probably only slightly less than $3 per gallon gas to drive across town only to nap, man, I'm lucky she loves me - we stopped by the "Got Milk?" tent downtown. Mom put a milk mustache on us and we got a mugshot. What I don't understand is why they asked if we wanted chocolate, strawberry, or regular. Huh? Are there more options? I only know of two and they taste the same.

This weekend we went to my friend Landry's first birthday party. I wore my new hat that Dad bought for me. Dad's been really busy lately trying to figure out who turned the lights off last Monday. I'm not sure why it is taking so long to find the culprit. I mean, dust the light switch, run the prints, and I.D. the guy. Or girl. They can do that in like 9 seconds on TV! Nevertheless, the suspense will soon draw to a close as the investigative report is presented at 9am tomorrow. Assuming we still have electricity to juice up the computer, I'm gunna watch him over at the Senate Committee on Business and Commerce in the morning.

This morning, Dad and I hung out while Mom had her teeth cleaned. Sounds like a hassle. I'm glad I don't have any. Then, Mom and I went to play at the park with some of my lady friends. You wouldn't believe some of the things they said. Even if I could talk, I wouldn't repeat them. I don't share secrets.

Well, I better close before Dad or Mom realize that I'm not really asleep. Thank goodness for laptops and wi-fi. There's no way I could post if I had to wrestle with cords between my crib slats. And of course, kudos to Kenny for drowning out the clicking keyboard. He's my kind of guy - always looking for some High Adventure.

Headin' into Twilight, Spreadin' Out My Wings Tonight......

So Mom and Dad have recently figured out that I get to sleep the best when there's some music playing. Specifically, Kenny Loggins music. Who's that you say? Yep. Kenny Loggins. No, he's not dead..... why do people keep asking that? Yes, he still has the beard. And yes, that faint "Noooooooooooooo" sound in the background is Dad.

Somehow... and let's be clear, this is still under investigation.... we came into possession of Kenny's "Return to Pooh Corner" CD. Turns out, it really helps me get to, and stay, asleep. Without it, I'm just revin' up my engine, and Mom's listening to my howlin' roar. And the further on the edge I get, the hotter the intensity, baby.

In case you haven't noticed, naptime shall hereafter be officially known as the "Danger Zone".

Five reasons why the world is smaller than you think.

1. You can book Kenny as a speaker here. You can also book a speaker with the same last name as me. Your guess. I'll give you a hint. Think "J-diddy".
2. Kenny Loggins and Kenny Rogers are both singers named Kenny. Mom worked at a Kenny Rogers Roasters in high school and met him. Rogers, not Loggins. ("Stay away from the chicken! Bad chicken! Mess you up!") There are unconfirmed rumors that Kenny grabbed her butt. Again, Rogers, not Loggins.
3. Kenny sang the song "I'm Alright" which is at the beginning of the movie Caddyshack. Kenny Loggins drives Dad crazy. The movie Caddyshack drives Mom crazy. The universe remains in balance. Further evidence of intelligent design.
4. "Danger Zone" was a song in the movie Top Gun which was about Navy pilots. Uncle Dennis flies planes in the Navy. Plus, my ego often writes checks my body can't cash.
5. Kenny also sang the title song to the movie "Footloose". Footloose starred Kevin Bacon. Sheesh! That was too easy.

P.S. Nobody tell Dad that there is a sequal -- "More Songs from Pooh Corner". Maybe Aunt Steph will put it on my baby ipod....

Heat Wave in Joshnonia

It was one for the record books - 101! I know that's not like Phoenix in July, but it is pretty hot for Joshnonia in April. It all started last Saturday with the appearance of a rash of unknown origin. I now know those were the spies scouting out the terrain of Joshnonia. On Sunday, the rash spread, the doctor advised that a viral infection was pending, and my armies put on their armor. The viral invasion was held back by the enthusiastic soldiers of Joshnonia...until last night. The persistent viral infection troops finally broke down the walls of Joshnonia.

Mom took me to the doctor again this morning. Turns out, my week of screaming at Mom and not sleeping has a good explanation. I have a sore throat, including blisters in the back of my throat. Ouch. Double Ouch. The doctor thinks the battle will rage on for another 5 days or so. It's out of control. I can't believe the backbone of Joshnonia has been broken. Please, as much as I know you want to, don't send your brave soldiers into this battle. Its one on one - quarantine time for Josh.

On the way home from the doctor's office, I feel asleep in the car. Since I haven't slept well lately, Mom kept driving. And driving. And driving. I woke up at the Super Walmart in Fredericksburg! (There's a Walmart on every corner of the universe, isn't there?) Mom said we were stopping for supplies. We got 2 jars of food for me, a package of spoons, a gallon of water, some baby Tylenol, a new pair of sunglasses for me (I out grew my other pair. The red marks on the side on my head and nose were a clue for Mom), and a turkey sandwich for Mom. M om fed me, changed my diaper, and changed my clothes (NEVER wear the clothes you wear to the doctor's office longer than necessary. You are only inviting trouble if you do) in the backseat of the car. I found some of Shadow's hair in the backseat, too. It just proves those you love are always near you. After Mom ate, we drove to Main Street and window shopped through 4 blocks of the stores. Then, we got back in the car and drove home. Weird, huh?

I had fun and I think Mom did, too. She said it was worth driving 150 miles so that I could have two long naps and be distracted from the burning pain in my throat. We spent the day together, without me screaming at her, in the sunshine. Mom got some quiet time in the car and saw all the wildflowers in bloom. Plus, it was an adventure. One of those rare, spur of the moment, I can't believe we did this, days we'll always remember. I wish we had the camera.

Joshmania

What's that? Something on my face? You sure?

Good Josh -- Evil Josh. Evil Josh-- Good Josh. You two play nice now.

That's right. Three of 'em. Got a problem with that? Nope? I didn't think so.

There? Is that the spot?

"R" says "tee". And "R" says "teh". Every letter makes a sound, and "R" says "tee". And "teh".

So Dad got me a "Ftidge Phonics" for Chtistmas, and Mom and Dad tecently took it out of the box fot me to play with. I spent a lot of time leatning my lettets. That was, up until Mom tealized that, unbeknownst to me, my Ftidge Phonics is appatently defective and doesn't always tead the tight lettet. Fot example, "u" is appatently ptonounced "yoo" not "double yoo". And I'm sute you've tealized the ptoblem with "r".... I mean "t"... no wait, "r"..... Damn! Sctew you, Leap Ftog! Sctew you!!!!

Cool J-Man

The heat don't bother me baby, 'cause I'm already cool.