Code Red in Joshnonia

So Dad helped launch the state of Texas' new Electricity Alert System this week to tell people how to save money by conserving energy and what the status of the electricity grid is. For example, this week was a Yellow Alert due to the hot weather and record electricity demand.


But you shouldn't worry, because our power has been out routinely enough this week to save the grid. That's right, in addition to Monday's saga, the power went out yesterday on Dad's birthday due to a transformer catching fire. Not sure if was Megatron or Optimus Prime, but the end result was no power in all of our area for a couple of hours. We were actually at the grocery store when it happened, and let me tell you sister--- Josh don't like being in the dark suddenly. But some nice people came over and patted my back until Mom picked me up and made it all better. Plus, we got to cut in line because everyone was so sorry for the woman with the freaked out baby. See --- having Josh around pays dividends!

I pretty sure if I'm ever in water and then it becomes dark suddently, I'll implode.

Anyway, I suggested to Dad that his new alert system needs to have a special status code for Joshnonia, since the statewide guide is not a good indicator of the service quality around these parts. Here's how this week would have looked. Glad I can help do my part. Other possible titles for this post:

• And There's a Code Brown in my Diaper
  
• Austin Powerless
• Austin Lack of Energy
• I Demand Advance Notice of These Unplanned Outages!
• Transformers! More that Meets the Eye! --- If You Could See, But You Can't Because the Power is Out

Ahhhh -- electric utility humor. It doesn't get dorkier than that.

PS-- If you didn't, click on the Optimus Prime link. I can't wait for my 18th birthday now!!!! Tate, I hope you'll like being known as Mrs. Prime.

July 19th

One year ago today I looked like this and my Dad turned 30!












Today, I look like this and my Dad turns 31!
Happy Birthday Dad! I love you!


Happy Birthday to Uncle Dennis, Uncle Jeff and my cousin JT, too!

Give Me a Break

Last night around 6pm the power went out on our street. Fortunately, I was in the bath tub, so I barely noticed that the a/c was off and the house was getting hot.

Around 7pm, just as the downstairs reached 80 degrees, Dad came home, and the a/c came back on. (I don't think there is any correlation there.) During my going to bed routine, the power tripped off again. Stifling hot. That's how Dad described it. It was way too hot to be upstairs and way too hot for anyone to be able to fall asleep. So, Mom went to her swim class (um, not contributing to a solution there, Mom) and Dad took me for a drive in the air conditioned car.

When we got home, I was still awake, so he took me for a stroll around the block. I guess since I feel asleep in the stroller at church on Sunday he wanted to give it a shot. (Um, don't tell Dad, but it only works when Holly is pushing the stroller.)

Around 9pm, Mom came home and the a/c came back on. (Again, I don't think there is any correlation, but I'm getting suspicious.) I finally conked out around 10pm. Obviously, I planned to sleep in this morning.

At 6am this morning, I'm still dreaming, and an alarm goes off on Dad's cell phone. Apparently he forgot to turn it off last night. Ugh! Good morning, I guess. I'm pretty tired, but I put on a happy face, and head down for breakfast.

Mom put me back in my crib for my morning nap around 9am. Nice. Finally, I'll catch up on some Z's. At some point during my nap, the power went back off. At 10am, it came back on. How do I know? Well, when the power comes back on the whole house beeps. All this electronic gear. Come on! Really! I need to sleep. OK. Nap is over. I just can't bring myself to go back to sleep.

So, this is a warning: I need my afternoon nap. Don't call, don't ring the doorbell, don't make beeping noises! And for goodness' sake, keep the power on!

Mom muttered something about just going to the mall to spend the $38.50 she made at Suzy's mom's garage sale this weekend if the power goes out again. I think moving is a better idea. Honestly, we don't need to put up with this heat. We should move north, to say, South Dakota. It never gets too hot there.

I Want My Two Dollars!!!

So tonight at dinner, Mom fed me most of the time, but Dad took over once I started fussing and acting like I didn't want to eat anymore. I had a little bit of avocado left, but kept turning my head away. Dad (I think jokingly) said, "Come on, Josh. If you eat one more bite, I'll give you a dollar.".

Mouth open. Avocado eaten. Boo-yah!

There's enough avocado left for one more bite, and I again turned my head, 'cause hey-- I gots my money. Then Dad says, "Come on. Double or nothing." Mom warned me that he was just trying to scam me out of my hard earned GW, but I'm too slick for that.

Mouth open. Avocado eaten. Double boo-yah!!

Then I ate a whole jar of apples, bananas, and kiwi-- just to rub it in.

So that $2.00, once invested in the proper financial instrument to return me an average return of 10% per year, is going to grow into a nice $12.01 by time I'm 18. If I can pull this off once a month, I'll have a cool $1,223.15. If Dad gets suckered into once a day, Josh will be rolling in just under $37,000.

That's a lotta avocado baby!

Yeah, but they were in the desert....

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."- Joshua 1:9

The last session of my swim class was yesterday. I started a week ago Monday. The class was pretty small - me and two girls, "Dora" (6 mo.) and "Ariel" (9 mo.) (I've changed their names to protect their identities. You'll understand.) If we were competing in the Olympics I'd get the bronze. Actually, I'd get the gold, because they don't let boys and girls compete against each other--- praise God for that!

Dora's mom brought her to class, so I didn't see her dad, but I'm pretty sure he is a fish. She goes under the water and doesn't cry. Crazy! I don't get it. Going under water is whack! I mean, jeez, I spent 9 1/2 months in Waterworld (which Dad says is slightly less time than the Kevin Costner movie, or at least it seems that way), and I'm on dry land now people. Why go backwards -- life is about moving on. I'm serious. Don't try putting me back in-- I'll cry.

What's that? Boys don't cry? Boys who are secure in their masculinity do. And I'm not afraid to admit when I'm in over my head or more to the point, when someone is trying to put me in over my head. There's no shame in being scared out of my swim diaper.

By the end of our first 30 minute class the instructor was modifing her instructions - "Let's do X, but Josh, you can do slightly less than X." No shame. Josh is who Josh is. Mom was supportive. I think she's awesome.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the water. I like floating. I like splashing. I like being outside. However, I don't like being on my back. I don't like being under water - not that I ever got close. I don't like leaky swim diapers. Actually, I don't really care about that last one, but Mom wasn't too excited about getting wet before getting in the pool. But that Mom's a quick thinker. She discretely dunked us in the pool so that our bottom halves were wet before class began. Mom saves the day - again. But...um... I'd make sure you swim with your mouth closed if you're at Dick Nichols Pool anytime soon.

I think the low point of the class for Mom was when I got too friendly with Ariel. One day Ariel was reaching out to touch me. Not wanting to be rude, I reached for her as well. Actually, I reached directly for the red birthmark on her cheek. It's just like the red birthmark that Dad has on his chest. Sometimes Dad lays down and I push on his red spot. For some reason, it always rings like a doorbell. Dad says its the delivery entrance to Narna. It must only be open at night, because no matter how often I push it, nothing other than the "ding-dong" sound occurs. So, logic said that I should give Ariel's red spot a good pressing to see if it was the day entrance. Long story short, it is not, and Mom turned about the same shade of red.

Now although yesterday was the last day, my actual last day was on the 6th-- yes, I only went to three out of eight. Why is that? Well, the class was actually during my morning nap time, and I kinda got all around crazy for the whole week because I could never find another grove to get into, so we stopped doing them.

Mom says it worked out to be about 50 cents per minute. What can you do?

Where's Josh?

THERE'S JOSH!!!!!!